Addressing Artistic Misrepresentations of ADHD- our first Performing Well interview
“I do think that a lot of people with ADHD are in the arts because they need something to direct their ideas and thoughts, so the performing arts creates a great place for that…”
Sitting across from my first interviewee, with bowls of ravioli and mushrooms directly in front of us (courtesy of my tolerable cooking skills), my brain kept being unluckily inundated with the same TV show scenes. Iconic moments of character Coco Wexler- the somewhat emotionally unstable girls’ dorm advisor at the fictional Pacific Coast Academy who housed a troubling obsession for canned ravioli.
If anyone else reading this grew up during the early 2000s, then you can probably remember the show I’m talking about- Zoey 101.
Media representation of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) sometimes reminds me of Coco. Rather than the entertainment industry writing plotlines to follow ADHD as a serious diagnosis, we constantly find ADHD to be inaccurately used as a character trait. The personalities of such “ADHD” characters seem to be almost manic- unruly, misbehaving, aggressively energetic, etc. Yet, this depiction, especially for adult characters, is usually similar to a blurry caricature, created by someone with no artistic training and who hasn’t observed their subject yet.
“Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a disorder marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development” (NIMH, n.d.).
To clarify, symptoms can include difficulty keeping focus, restlessness, and actions that are more hastily decided. There are three types of ADHD that can be diagnosed: inattentive type, hyperactive/impulsive type or combined type (Parekh, 2017). Hyperactivity can be common among children, but for those with ADHD, the difference is that their inattentiveness and restlessness is at a much higher rate and can disrupt their academic, social, and familial lives. For adults, unlike depicted in media, the hyperactivity can become more inward then outward facing, declining somewhat after childhood. The symptom of Inattentiveness in adults pursues much more than hyperactivity or impulsivity (Hagan, n.d.).
For performing artists though- what can ADHD look like? With the required fast memorization of lines or music, long rehearsal hours to be attentive in, busy, jam-packed schedules, tightrope balancing practice with performing, work, social events, etc., performing artists diagnosed with ADHD face unique challenges.
Luckily, one of my performing artist friends, who was diagnosed with ADHD during their childhood, was happy to meet with me to answer questions to aid us in our understanding of these challenges.
8:30 pm, my apartment, on a Monday night.
Q: If you were an animal, what would you be?
Them: Is this like, in general, or related to my mental illness?
Hannah: Whatever floats your boat. I always try to think holistically
Them: An animal that looks concerned. A meerkat… with a constant state of high alert.
Q: Please tell me about your diagnosis and main symptoms. How have they changed- if at all- from childhood to adulthood.
Them: My mom got me checked out, because… I would do the work, but would forget to turn things in. Or I would zone out for 20 minutes at a time and not realize it. Or when I was a kid I would have chunks of notes where parts were missing… I would float off and refocus back in
I would fidget. I still fidget. My teachers would have me sit on my hands, or I was only allowed to get tissues twice every class… Or I would go to the bathroom every single class period, even if I didn’t have to, so I could go on a walk.
I didn’t really have any behavioral issues, I was shy, and didn’t like attracting attention to myself ever, so it wasn’t me talking too much.
I get overwhelmed very easily, because I have so much stuff going on at all times, cycling through. Which, as I’ve gotten older, I can better isolate things that need to be done, or the things that are more important.
Ummm wait what was I talking about. That was a great example of my ADHD.
Me: Can I quote you on that?
Them: (Laughs) Yes!
OH! What has gotten better as I’ve gotten older?
When my mental health is worse, my ADHD feels worse. Though it is ALWAYS THERE. ALWAYS. Or when I’m tired, it will get worse, and I will forget and leave lights on, or doors open…
I feel like that was a very all over the place answer, I apologize
Q: How, if at all, did ADHD affect you when you came into the performing arts world? Was it positive, or negative? Do you believe ADHD pushed and influenced you to be a performer, or do you think sometimes it feels preventative?
Them: (Laughing) Well, my parents, when I got diagnosed, they shoved me into the performing arts.
I think having ADHD helps me as a performer, just because you have to be really creative, and a lot with ADHD- when you are first learning to deal with it- it is a lot of out of the box, unconventional, creative thinking to find solutions.
When I got diagnosed, whenever we would talk to my psychiatrist, they always said it was really great for creative thinkers, because you have a lot of ideas going on at once. It is just a matter of narrowing everything down into a concise thought.
When I have to memorize songs, dances, or lines, that is a little difficult for me still. It is difficult with long term memory… committing things to long term memory…
Q: Do you feel those with ADHD can be more creative or divergent in their thinking?
Them: Yeah I think so. When you have thoughts going on all the time… I have a cousin with ADHD and her mom is constantly asking me questions about it… whenever someone gives me a topic like for an essay, I scroll through a bunch of ideas before trying to make one fit the topic, even if it didn’t. I am always forced to think creatively, because there are always so many thoughts and ideas going on, but it is actually difficult pairing things down.
Dang, I’m searching for mushrooms here.
This is a lot more fun of an interview to give, because I did one for a psych interview, and they were like, “Are you a burden to your family? Yes or no?”
And I was like, oh sh*t, probably! (Laughing)
She said that to my face. She was like, “do you feel as though you are ever a burden to your friends and family, you know, when you leave lights on and cupboards open?”
Like well when you say it like that… my god. Like I don’t know you like that.
Like fine, I leave the oven on sometimes and it might be a problem. (Laughs)
Hannah: (Typing) Hold on, let me chew this peach first before I ask you the next question because that’s more proper.
Them: Oh my god you have a rollie garlic… oh god, keep going.
*Coughs* I hit my uvula. Ow! Next question. Oh my ravioli is sticking together… The texture is overwhelming for me…
Q: A lot of people have speculated that those in the arts world have a higher rate of ADHD than in other career fields, due to the correlation between ADHD and creativity, yet there is no existing data that specifically proves a link. One day, when scientists do eventually get more definitive data on this, do you think a correlation will be proven?
Them: You know what I think? ADHD is a common cold illness… a lot of people have undiagnosed ADHD. What I don’t think people get, is that it is not because you are allowed to be attention seeking… or are in a profession that demands attention… that isn’t ADHD. a lot of people who are diagnosed are not bouncy and loud… I mean I am loud… but do you know what I mean? A lot of people want to assume people in performing arts have ADHD because they associate attention seeking behavior with ADHD.
I do think that a lot of people with ADHD are in the arts because they need something to direct their ideas and thoughts, so the performing arts creates a great place for that. But I hate when people who bounce off the walls say they have ADHD. There is a lot more that goes into it than the hyperactive part (especially for adults). It isn’t just the hyperactive which a lot of other people will get focused on. It is a difficult thing, and if you really think you have it, I think you should go and get diagnosed… yeah.
Or like, kids would make that up in like high school, who had no actual diagnosis, to get special privileges that I was technically supposed to have.
So… maybe. Is my answer.
Q: You mentioned methods to cope with ADHD. Do you have specific methods to cope or suppress your ADHD symptoms during rehearsals and performances? Do you have any recommendations for other people diagnosed with ADHD in the performing arts?
Them: I guess if I’m in a show, and I need to know my lines or music by a certain date, I have to have my schedule really, really planned out for myself, to a T. Just like, in finals weeks, I have to map out every hour. Even like, my hour of a break and such… Everyone keeps a planner, but my use of a planner is even more specific. I also have phone alerts that are always on during the school year that ping. That way, I can see exactly when I am supposed to be doing things.
I used to keep a trifolder. The less stuff I have, the better. I can’t have a million binders. I will lose things, constantly. But I will always find them- I’m like a bloodhound- but I lose my wallet, my keys, my shoes, constantly. So the less things I have the better.
I keep all of my repertoire in the same place with little tabs.
I use extreme organization when I can. Though I fully throw that away during the summer…. During the school year there is a lot of organization.
I also have to meditate at night or at least have moments when I’m not staring at a screen- or I won’t go to sleep. So an hour before bed I can’t do electronics. I read. I draw a lot. Even at my job. (Laughs)
Some things I don’t even realize I do for my ADHD anymore since I’ve been doing it since I was little.
My mom could probably sit here and proudly say how she raised her little mess.
Reflective Pause
Them: *Sings* I found another mushroom. (Digging around their bowl of ravioli) Mamma Mia, here I go again…
I don’t know how I am going to be able to teach kids. Do you realize how hard it is going to be when I can’t talk about one set topic… kids will be asking me a random question and I will go off on a million tangents.
Q: Have you tried integrating your symptoms into your role as a performer? Instead of using solutions to cope, but to use your ADHD as a tool?
Them: Because I’m so forgetful, and I’m constantly playing catch up to remember things, I am actually a very good pretender, or actor of knowing things.
Not that I am good at lying… but I’m really good at convincing people I know what is going on, and remaining calm, even in situations I’m not as calm in.
When I was little, I used to get super overwhelmed very quickly, and I still do, but I’ve gotten better at hiding it.
I guess, getting into different headspaces is pretty easy for me. I am pretty good when I get a character. I like doing a character analysis and I get really creative about their different thought processes. When I get a new character it is fun to go in and think: this is how they are feeling because they grew up here and they have these things going on in their life…
I’ve also gotten good at reading people, and I do good impressions of people.
I used to remain overly observant and focused so people wouldn’t think I had ADHD
I would watch people a lot, so I think I have gotten really good at seeing how people react. I also have people ask me to analyze their problems. And I think it relates to ADHD because I love reading people and gathering information.
I have an impression of you too (laughs).
That helps with singing too. I mean I used to mimic birds in the park…
Q: To wrap things up, are there any other comments you want to make about ADHD through the lens of a performing artist?
Them: ADHD and anxiety goes hand and hand.
I think getting overwhelmed very easily makes being a performing artist very difficult. ADHD has instilled this idea that I will never be fully ready for anything, because I’ll think I’m never on top of it, like I was not as a little kid or in middle school.
It is always in the back of my mind that I’m never going to be on top of my sh*t, so having that in the back of my mind is kind of an endurance. To go out, and perform in front of all these people, ignoring what’s in your mind, where there are people judging you…
When I’m stressed right before I go onstage, I have a flow of ideas of all the things that could go bad or are going right.
Once, I walked on stage, and then walked off stage, and I remember leaving the stage, but I don’t remember what happened. I asked my friend if I sang and they were like, yes.
I go into autopilot. I get overly prepared for everything so the distractions feel less when I perform.
References:
Hagan, S. (n.d.). The Difference Between Child and Adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Rivonia, Gauteng; The South African Depression & Anxiety Group.
Parekh, R. (2017, July). What Is ADHD? https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/adhd/what-is-adhd.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (n.d.). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/.
Performing well 