You’re the conductor of your own life’s orchestra: your balance of instruments (passions) is what is going to create your most beautiful sound.
When I first became an undergraduate student in the School of Music, Theatre and Dance in the fall of 2022, I was absolutely certain that all of my dreams would come true if I landed a big orchestra job in a major symphony. I was quite headstrong when I started my time here. I thought that orchestral performing was the only avenue I saw myself in and that winning that job would be the only way I could be fulfilled within my musical journey. Growing up in a hometown that didn’t have a whole lot of community musical engagement, my views of music were quite binary with what I was exposed to: performing or teaching.
But shortly after I started my freshman year, I soon realized how many different avenues within the performing arts could fulfill me in different ways while also focusing on my performance.
As a double major in tuba performance and instrumental music education, I knew that my education would be time-consuming and honestly quite tiring. I’ve had multiple classes, 18-credit-hour semesters, methods courses, and fieldwork, all while staying on top of my performance goals. As I reflect after finishing up my sophomore year, I am so incredibly glad and thankful that I stuck with the dual degree.
In my personal experience, committing myself to both degrees has given me a different perspective on what I can do as an artist. Both degrees have made me discover even more avenues within these sectors of music and left me motivated to seek out my greatest potential both as a student and musician. With this multi-avenue approach to my education, I have realized over my time at the University of Michigan how important finding a balance within yourself and your passions plays in your day-to-day life as a student. Balance is the key to staying motivated, but finding how to actually balance is not as easy as professionals make it out to be.
Passion to Help My Community
In the summer of 2023, I finished my semester in a reflective state of how my first year at Michigan went. I felt that my cup was extremely filled with performing, and I really focused on my instrument like I had never been able to before. I knew after that year that performing would always be a part of my life and career, and being in music school thankfully validated that I was doing what I was meant to do.
Even with this content and accomplished feeling, I felt that something was missing. It wasn’t a feeling of unhappiness or doubt or anything like that – just a feeling that there was something personally meaningful missing. After a summer of being a camp counselor for a music program, it started to hit me that I wanted to become more involved with people and the communities within music. I wanted to do something that was impactful, and that helped the people around me.
When I realized this, I became extremely motivated to transform all of the things that interested me into becoming more involved within musical communities: I became an ambassador for the Wellness Program here at SMTD, started my second year as a mentor in the Michigan Youth Ensembles, became a music education research assistant, started my own research on more accessible music education, and also competed in several solo competitions.
I made numerous personal connections, taught high schoolers, dipped back into my academic side, served some of the needs of our student body, and took my tuba performance to the next level. I have never felt so personally and musically fulfilled before, and I have never felt so intrinsically motivated.
But once I got to November of my sophomore year in pursuing all of my new-found passions, I was humbled by a constant wall of exhaustion, and I wasn’t quite sure how to approach it.
Hitting a Wall
I didn’t want to acknowledge this at the time, but looking back I didn’t quite handle my stress and business as healthily as I could. There were days when I was so motivated to conquer the day of my stacked Google Calendar and be as productive as I could. There were other days when I struggled to focus on my classes and would think, “Why am I doing so much?”
This wall of exhaustion is something all of us as artists have dealt with at one point or another. It looks different for each of us, but for me, this “wall” at times would hinder my view of how my work would pay off in the future. While not recognizing the importance of trying to find my balance, my motivation for my passions started to slow down. I knew then that I had to make a change to keep pursuing the variety of activities I enjoyed.
With what I know now, I have found that creating more of a balance within yourself will allow you to pursue your goals in a calmer and more level-headed manner. Once I found my balance with time and patience, it allowed me to view my more chaotic days in a light that would help push me through this other side of the wall. Conquering this wall starts with effort within yourself.
Managing Exhaustion with Balance
I think something that is not quite talked about in the performing arts world is that there are not a whole lot of other professions like ours that require so much time, energy, personal sacrifice, and competition. We, as performing artists, are aware of this, but we tend to forget to forgive ourselves when we are not accomplishing or performing at our absolute best.
We are in a demanding field. It’s hard at times when our day-to-day life gets so busy with performances, projects, classes, and rehearsals that we lose sight of our values and why we are doing what we do. We all have our motivations, dreams, and passions, but we have to remember and learn how to mentally and physically take care of ourselves, especially when our Google Calendar chaotically boasts every color of the rainbow.
Actively balancing my well-being while pursuing my career aspirations is still a learning curve, but finding a better balance for myself has made me able to keep doing what I love for the long run. Finding ways to healthily balance your plate with good habits, boundaries, and fun outside of your work will allow you to enjoy the busy journey you’re pursuing and catalyze more opportunity for yourself.
Finding Balance
You have to prioritize yourself when you need a break, even when everyone still seems at full speed.
One takeaway from my sophomore year is that developing passions into fruition is one of the most rewarding professional endeavors, but it’s only possible if you find what works for you. It’s easy to get caught up in the “grind” of being incredibly productive, feeling like you have it all together without pacing yourself. Next thing you know, walking towards the music building feels nearly impossible.
It is imperative to include parts of your day that bring joy and relaxation outside of your work, find time for the people you care about, and also find space for enjoyment outside of your craft. Giving yourself a break will help you feel more energized to keep going and will keep you feeling inspired to grow towards your goals.
Finding balance is a hard task in itself. If you are like me, you thrive off being busy and like to deeply engage in everything you do. With my busy schedule, I made it a priority this past semester to try my best to do one thing each day that put my mind at ease for a little bit. Whether it was doing a short 15-minute yoga video, playing duets with friends, treating myself to a coffee at Mujo, or taking a short walk around campus, these small things have helped me stay in the positive mindset of “keep going!” and have helped make my work more fulfilling.
It’s hard to make time, especially when you hear about other people’s busy schedules or see the practice wing absolutely full. You have to prioritize yourself when you need a break, even when everyone still seems at full speed. It makes such a difference!
As you add more to your plate of passion projects, gigs, rehearsals, and events, make sure you are simultaneously finding what keeps you going. It is an incredibly rewarding experience being able to succeed in all of the artistic avenues that you love, but to keep that going, make sure you can keep going! You’re the conductor of your own life’s orchestra: your balance of instruments (passions) is what is going to create your most beautiful sound.
Resource Recap
When I first started to prioritize more breaks for myself as a busy music student, it was hard to find credible resources that were available to me both financially and schedule-wise. As both a student and as a Wellness Program Ambassador, I have discovered the vast amount of free resources and outlets that the Wellness Program at SMTD offers for self-care and balance.
Personally, when I have time in the lounge or library, I try to find time to clear my mind with a quick meditation session. These 10-15 minute audios from our meditation playlist help recenter yourself through guided audio. When I have some free time in my apartment either before or after classes, I like to put on either one of our Workout Minis or Yoga Minis. These options help you engage in low-intensity, no-equipment physical activity that can easily fit your schedule. Another option is taking one of our for-credit courses so that you can build self-care into your academic schedule.
These resources that I use often are just a small portion of what our Wellness Program at SMTD offers. Below are links to resources that our team has created to help support us as students. I also encourage you to find resources or activities that work specifically for you and to think outside of the box!
Performing well 